Parents Resources

Useful Books for Parents

Ali, Turan (1996) We Are Family: testimonies of lesbian and gay parents (London: Cassell). ISBN 0-304-33150-3. 1 copy.
One of the first UK books to collect accounts by lesbian and gay parents, some of whom are foster carers or adopters. Ali has brought together a diverse range of stories, which are grouped into themes such as coming out, deciding to become a parent, talking to children about being gay, dealing with schools, and the teenage years.

Arnup, Katherine (editor) (1995) Lesbian Parenting: living with pride and prejudice (Charlottetown, Canada: Gynergy Books). ISBN 0-921881-33-9.
1 copy.
A Canadian collection of essays about many aspects of lesbian parenting, including a couple of adoption stories, as well as contributions dealing with alternative insemination, definitions of lesbian families, raising boys or girls, dealing with communities and homophobia, issues facing black lesbians, and legal questions. A diverse and enjoyable collection.

Brill, Stephanie A. (2001) The Queer Parent's Primer: a lesbian and gay families¹ guide to navigating the straight world (Oakland: New Harbinger Publications). ISBN 1-57224-226-4. 1 copy.
This US book addresses the practical problems and challenges facing lesbian and gay families, with practical suggestions on how to deal with conflicts as well as promote a proud household. The book discusses the place of gay and lesbian families within society, how to support our children, the redefinition of families by lesbians and gay men, and how to seek the advice and help that you might need from professional agencies.

Clunis, D. Merilee & Green, G. Dorsey (1995) The Lesbian Parenting Book: a guide to creating families and raising children (New York: Seal Press). ISBN 1-878067-68-0. 1 copy.
This US book covers a wide range of parenting issues for lesbians including fostering and adoption. It also discusses the role of partners, fathers and other family members, coming out to children and family, dealing with prejudice, raising girls, raising boys, the problems of adolescence, and helping children to cope with divorce, break-ups and other losses. Much of the book is aimed at lesbians who have children from birth, but other sections discuss topics relevant to fostered or adopted children.

Drucker, Jane Levy (1998) Lesbian & Gay Families Speak Out: understanding the joys and challenges of diverse family life (Cambridge, MA: Perseus Publishing). ISBN 0-7382-0466-8. 1 copy.
Drawing upon extensive interviews with gay and lesbian families, this US book discusses how such families are defined and how they work. Looking at relationships amongst family members, friends and community, the role of religion or sprituality, as well as the importance of research, this book contains many quotations from stories by lesbian and gay parents.

Fahlberg, Vera I. (1994) A Child's Journey Through Placement (UK edition) (London: BAAF). ISBN 1-873868-13-8. 1 copy.
This book sets out Fahlberg's ideas on the knowledge base and skills needed to help children who are placed in residential, foster or adoptive care. She addresses issues of separation, loss, grief and change experienced by such children, as well as how theories of attachment and child development are relevant to children and their carers. The book contains many practical ideas about how to enable children to come to terms with moves and losses in their lives. It may help carers to understand some of their children's expriences and some of their more difficult behaviour.

Hicks, Stephen & McDermott, Janet (editors) (1999) Lesbian & Gay Fostering & Adoption: extraordinary yet ordinary (London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers). ISBN 1-85302-600-X. 2 copies.
This book presents a series of personal accounts by lesbians and gay men who have fostered or adopted children, many of them members of the LAGFAPN London and Northern Support Groups. In addition, the editors provide an introduction and an editorial essay which pulls out the key themes arising from the stories, as well as discussing some issues of research and policy.

Howey, Noelle & Samuels, Ellen (editors) (2000) Out of the Ordinary: essays on growing up with gay, lesbian, and transgender parents (New York: St. Martin's Press). ISBN 0-312-24489-4. 1 copy.
A US collection of essays by children who have grown up with gay, lesbian or transgender parents. The issues discussed include dealing with a parent's sexuality, overcoming homophobia at school, and living in a family that is different¹. One of the few books to present accounts by the children of lesbians and gay men.

Kaeser, Gigi (photographs) & Gillespie, Peggy (editor) (1999) Love Makes a Family: portraits of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents and their families (Amherst: University of Massachusetts Press). ISBN 1-55849-161-9.
1 copy.
A project from Family Diversity Projects Inc. (US), this book presents a series of photographic portraits, as well as personal accounts, by families with gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender parents. This book may be particularly useful to show to children, as the photographs present a diverse set of images of children and their families. The interviews present accounts by both parents and children about their lives.

Martin, April (1993) The Lesbian & Gay Parenting Handbook: creating and raising our families (New York: HarperPerennial). ISBN 0-06-096929-6. 1 copy. A US-based guide to parenthood for lesbians and gay men, the book covers alternative insemination, surrogacy, as well as a whole chapter on adoption. Chapters also help potential parents to think through the decision to become a parent, legal considerations (although these do not apply to the UK), relationships within the family and with others, relationship break-ups and other crises, the needs of children over time, and where to turn to for additional support. The book draws upon many examples to offer ideas and advice to all lesbian and gay parents.

Pies, Cheri (1988) Considering Parenthood (2nd edition) (Duluth: Spinsters Ink). ISBN 0-933216-17-3. 1 copy.
This US book is for lesbians who are thinking about becoming parents, and offers advice and practical suggestions. The book takes readers through the kinds of issues that might be faced when becoming a lesbian parent, dealing with friends, family and others, as well as routes to parenthood including adoption and foster care.

Saffron, Lisa (2001) It's a Family Affair: the complete lesbian parenting book (London: Diva Books). ISBN 1-873741-62-6. 2 copies.
This UK book brings together into one volume Saffron's previous work on lesbian parenting with her text on the children of lesbian parents. The book acts as a guide for lesbian parents, but this new edition includes for the first time separate chapters on fostering and adoption. Each chapter includes a story by a lesbian parent, and the issues covered include deciding to become a parent, alternative insemination, coming out to children, living as a lesbian family, legal issues, bullying at school and dealing with children¹s concerns. Part 5 presents accounts by children who have grown up with lesbian parents (taken from Saffron's 1996 book What About the Children? Sons & Daughters of Lesbians & Gay Men Speak About their Lives).

Weeks, Jeffrey; Heaphy, Brian & Donovan, Catherine (2001) Same Sex Intimacies: families of choice and other life experiements (London: Routledge). ISBN 0-415-25477-9. 1 copy.
This book reports the findings of the UK's first major study of relationships amongst lesbians and gay men, including those with children. Chapter 7 deals with the views of lesbian and gay parents, and there is some discussion of fostering and adoption. The book argues that lesbians and gay men have experimented with the family and have formed Œfamilies of choice¹ and, through extensive interview research, the authors report accounts of how such families are lived in the everyday. A fascinating sociological study of our families.

Books for Carers List:
The Northern Support Group has an archive of books that can be borrowed by members. The archive is held by Steve Hicks. This is an annotated list of the stock. You can read other reviews of the books at amazon.co.uk